Lie to Me
by Ashleyxx
Summary: Lily Evans has a destiny.She alone knows the part she must play.James Potter has a destiny.He is unware of it,and lives his life.She holds back,he lives.If knowing the truth is hard for someone,would you lie to make it easy?Would you want to be lied to?
1. Chapter One Hope

Hope - to wish for something with expectation of its fulfilment. We all feel it. We see it in people everyday. Hope is the one thing that keeps us going. Not love, not hate, but hope. We hope for better days to come. We hope for life to carry on. And we hope that when it comes down to the last fight, to the last moments of our life, to the moments when what we do matters the most, that we are strong enough. Strong enough to do what's right.

Sure, when it comes down to it we are only human. We can only do so much, but a part of you hopes that's enough. Nobody is perfect, but our flaws make us human. And when you lie awake at night wondering why you are here, what your purpose in life is, you hope that you can fulfil it, and that you do have a purpose. But we all do. Our destinies are written for us wither we like it or not, but our biggest challenge in life is to live it. And we can only hope that one day, one day everything will become clear. Hope.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lily Evans had always been quiet. Wrapped up in her text books she seemed oblivious to the world, but she wasn't. She never had any close friends. Observing her for the first time you would assume that she was unpleasant, or snobbish as she rarely spoke to people or even acknowledged them. But under closer inspection, you began to see that she was in fact polite, kind and an all around a nice person. But for some reason she never let people get close. It was like she didn't want friends or a connection with anyone on the planet, being alone was what she wanted.

Or at least that was what James Potters observations had concluded too. And since he had been watching her for six years, he was properly right.

James had been in Lily's classes at Hogwarts for six years. Not once had he spoken to her, but always admired her. They were complete polar opposites. James was loud, carefree, and was surrounded by friends. Lily was quiet, alone, and always seemed to be carrying the weight of the world. She fascinated him. Everyday at six o'clock, after dinner she would come to the library, sit at the table nearest the charms section, second seat to the left, take out her work and begin her three hour study session. Everyday at six o'clock James would follow her to the library, sit at the table directly across from her, third seat to the right, facing her and attempt to look like he was doing his own homework. After six years of this routine you would think that the two would have become acquainted, or at least acknowledge each other, but they never did. Sure James had tried to catch her attentions, even attempted a few 'hellos' but Lily would only respond with a small smile, and immediately continue with her work.

In a way it frustrated him. He wanted so much, for her to communicate with him, but she brushed off all of his advances , never in a cruel way, but brushed them to the side all the same. So James had decided, tonight, the last night of sixth year, was the night for action. He would had a conversation with her. She would acknowledge him. He become her friend.

Walking up to the table nearest the charms section, he could feel his stomach twisting with nervous. It was ridiculous, he told himself, to be feeling nervous. All he was doing was starting a conversation. But that didn't stop the nerves twisting as he lowered himself in to the seat second to the right on the opposite side of the quiet red head, who was engrossed in her work.

"Hey!" he practically shouted, earning him a scowl from the librarian and a jump from the red head.

She looked at him curiously, with slight amusement, before replying with a simple and polite " Hello".

His mind went blank. She was more beautiful up close, and his mind couldn't seem to make up a thought or a sentence. She smiled and went back to her work, and he could see no other option but to do the same.

At exactly nine o'clock, as always, she packed up her stuff and with a small smile left the second seat on the left, at the table nearest the charms section of the library.

As soon as she left the door of the library James let his head fall on to the table with a thud, earning him another scowl form the librarian.

"Ok , that did not go as planned".


	2. Chapter Two Beginnings

There will come a time in your life when everything you want is in reach. Don't hold back. Grab that moment ,cherish it, and hope that it will stay. People say life is a beautiful thing, and although there is usually more of the bad than the good, its true. If life was perfect it would be boring. So don't hold back. Live through your mistakes and grow stronger, cause in the end you cant take them back. So even when your world feels like is crumbling around you, remember the good times are going to come. There will come a time when life starts to look like its going to be a beautiful day, so grab it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why? Why me? That was all James Potter could ask himself on his final train ride to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Head boy?! I mean sure he got good grades, well amazing grades if he was being honest, but Head boy?! He was a marauder, a prankster, a trouble maker and he enjoyed it! This was his last year, the one where he was suppose to go mental, pranks non stop, and to just have a laugh. But now because of some title he had to look after first years and organize shite. Of course it was a honour to be given the title of head boy ( his mother had giddily informed him after he had received his letter) but he couldn't help think that Dumbledore might have been off his face on something at the moment the decision was made. Why on earth would anyone choose him for head boy!?

"Come on mate it wont be that bad!" Sirius voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he turned to give him a secptible look.

"Well ok , you wont be able to do any of the pranks that we planned for this year because you will have to be all responsible and a ( he shuddered ) role model, but at least you can watch us do them!"

James sighed, and looked at Sirius, saying dryly " Thanks mate, thanks. You really know how to kick a bloke when he's down eh ?"

Sirius looked ready to retort when Remus butted in.

"Jamie, its not that bad, you will have a great time this year, and you get all the head boy privileges. Your own room, a common room to share with the head girl…."

James head snapped to Remus " You mean I'll be living with a girl ?!"

"Brilliant" Sirius shouted, " wonder who she is? Hope she's hot"

Remus rolled his eyes " why, your not living with her?"

"Yeah well I just want her to be good enough for Jamie poo to shag"

" You are an insensitive pig, you know that?"

James rested his head against the window once more, and blocked out Remus and Sirius bickering. If he was being honest there was only one girl at Hogwarts he would be interested in sharing living space with, and she barely spoke to, let alone shagged anyone. It was going to be a long year.

"James…………. Jamsie poo…..Prong?……….JAMES!" The shouting snapped him out of his day thoughts , and he turned to Sirius, annoyed.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"We are here".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lily Evans sat how she always did on the Hogwarts express. Alone and quiet. This was how it had always been. It was nobody's fault. It was just the way it had to be, and nobody could change it. Lily Evans knew her place and purpose in the world, and she was not about to burden anyone else with it. It wouldn't be fair for her to make relationships because in the end everyone would get hurt. And she knew if she did care for anyone it would make her destiny harder for her to accept. So she stayed alone, cause that way it would be easy. As she sat in her quiet compartment a tear ran down her pale cheek. She was shocked to feel it. She had never once cried over her situation, only ever accepted it, and the part she had to play. But for some reason on her last journey to Hogwarts she could not help but feel more alone than ever, and wished that she could have a normal life. Wished she could be sitting with friends, joking and gossiping over pointless things, looking forward to the year ahead. She wished she didn't have the fate of the world on her shoulders, and for once, she could just be Lily. Because when it came down to it, that's all she is. Wiping the tears off her face, she breathed in deeply, and continued watching out the window, the world passing by quickly. She couldn't help but feel that it personified her situation perfectly.


	3. Chapter Three The Spark

Love. Arguably the strongest feeling a human being can ever experience. To love completely, with no caution, no judgements, no regrets. Many claim they are in love, but real love can not be understood until it is felt. Different kinds of love run through us, the love for our parents, the love for a child, a love for our friends, but I feel the most impressive of them all is the love between two people who are unrelated in anyway, apart from the fact that they have fallen in love with each other. It is different to love someone and to be in love with someone. And so we have to ask ourselves, do we believe in soul mates ? One person is made and destined for only one other person on this planet. That there is only one person we can truly connect to, truly feel that spark with, truly love unconditionally. If that is the case, do we trust ourselves to find that person, and if it isn't , then what is the point in even looking for love?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Lily smothered a giggle that was threatening to escape. Although she wasn't friends with any of the other 7th year Gryffindor, she had watched them for six years, so it was hard not to feel some sort of connection and bond with them. Instead of taking part , she would watch their lives like a soap opera. That way she felt involved to a certain extent, but didn't have to be involved enough to hurt them.

At the moment she watched across the table and down a bit, while Sirius Black and James Potter mimicked Alice and Frank, who had apparently become Hogwarts most envied couple over the summer. Lily had always liked Alice, she had the ability to show you she was there without saying a word. After sharing a room with her for six years, Lily noticed the little things she did to make sure Lily knew that if she wanted to go to Alice for any reason she could. It was silly little things, like leaving books out on her bedside table that she thinks Lily would like, or if Lily missed breakfast ( terrible habit of sleeping in) then Alice would hand her some toast in a napkin before first period. Lily appreciated the little things Alice did, and always thought that if things were different, Alice would be a very close friend.

Frank Longbottom was the quiet boy of Gryffindor , though when comparing to Sirius, James, Remus and Peter, that was not hard. He was well liked, and did exceptionally well in all of his studies. She was glad they had found each other, but still couldn't help but laugh at Sirius and James childish antics, and at that moment Sirius pretended to try and push James to the ground in the throes of passion, which ended up with James lying on the floor next to the Hufflepuff table, chocolate pudding down his front, glowering a Sirius.

James Potter had always intrigued her. He was one of the most well known students in the school, for many reasons. His family were constantly in the prophet as his parents were extremely talented aurors. He had a natural ability for quidditch, an easy going and likeable character, although he was extremely loud and troublesome at times. He was also one of the most desirable males at Hogwarts, along with Sirius ( Gryffindor very own playboy) and Remus ( the one the girls giggled about when he passed, calling him the quiet, sensitive type). All in all, he was perfect. Despite this fact he never dated, and rarely showed any interest in the opposite sex at Hogwarts. For a while Lily thought he might have been gay, but nothing other than the fact that he didn't date pointed to this conclusion, and so the mystery began.

James Potter was properly one of the people that Lily knew best at Hogwarts. Although he knew nothing about her, and the only thing they had ever said to each other was hello, she just felt a connection with him. Ever since school started Lily had went to the Library everyday to studying in the evening after dinner, and he would always sit at the table across from hers, doing the same. It had grown into a sort of routine for her, it had become comfortable, and though they never spoke or arranged anything, she wouldn't miss it for the world, and made sure to be prompt every night. Sometimes she could kid herself that they had actually come to meet each other, that they were friends and that she was normal. It was nice.

However on the last day of her sixth year James had done something that Lily had never thought he would do. He changed the routine. She was just sitting at her usual spot in the Library working on a particularly difficult rune when a shouted greeting shocked her out of her 'study zone'. Looking up, she couldn't believe her eyes. James Potter was sitting at the desk across from her, looking terrified. She gave him a small smile and continued on with her work as though nothing had happened, but inside her heart was racing. It was in that moment she knew he had ruined everything. Ruined the little set up that they had going, the set up she looked forward to everyday. And he had ruined the part of herself that told her she was fine with her situation. Fine with not having friends. Fine with not having fun. Fine with not really living. She wanted so much to look up and begin a conversation with him, make a friends. Knowing that she couldn't really hit her at that moment, and she hated it. There was only one solution. After the summer she would have to find a new space to studying in, one that she couldn't be found so easily in. She couldn't allow James to get any closer than he was, it would only end in tears for the both of them.

And so sitting at the Gryffindor table she went over her plan. Now that she was Head girl she could study in her own room, or the Heads common room, depending on how much the Head boy used it. This way she could avoid James Potter without appearing to be deliberately cruel. It was the best way, and the only way she could make it through her seventh year remaining sane.

Snapping out of her thoughts she looked over at the group of seventh years, who were still laughing at James, while he sat on the floor with a unamused look on his face. While getting up the light caught something on his chest, and she immediately was drawn to hit. The smile that was on her face slowly began to fade as she looked closer. It was the Head boy badge. She stared at it , wondering what she was going to do, when she almost felt someone looking at her. Slowly raising her emerald eyes up from the badge, she met the chocolate coloured ones of James Potter. In that moment something inside her sparked, and although she knew she should look away, she couldn't. They both continued to look at each other until the Headmaster clapped his hands to gain the attention of the hall. They both hastily looked away, and the minute they did Lily felt an emptiness inside her like never before. She feared this would be the hardest year yet.


	4. Chapter Four Choices

Choices

Do we really have a choice? Do we control this life or will our fate always lead us to the same path? Fate, destiny, just fancy words for where we will end in the world. So commonly people use the word fate to defend a bad situation, a bad choice, but are they wrong? So are we powerless? Manipulated puppets, walking this life, but never really living it, controlled by some higher power? Or can we change our lives by the choices we make, can we choose to live?

I couldn't look away. I was memorised. It felt like if I broke this connection I would loose her forever, and in turn, loose myself. I could feel the pain in her eyes and all I wanted in that moment was to stop it. Finish whatever was slowly killing her, what was causing such despair. I wanted to run to her, to hold her and banish every bad thing that surrounded her, but my body wouldn't move. I was frozen in this moment, and all I could do was stare.

And then she broke it. I distantly heard a clap over the muted din and startled, she looked away. It broke me. That night I knew I would never be the same. I would never feel so alive, so real, until I caught that gaze again. Of course I knew that I had always liked her. Until that night I thought it was a normal teenage crush, but looking into her eyes, feeling her emotion through one look, I realised I was in love. I had no reason to be, I had barely spoken to the girl in my six years at school, but I knew that my one goal in my life now was to shelter her, comfort her, take away that pain, and love her.

"Prongs……James……Jamie…..JAMES!" Sirius yell woke me from my thoughts, and I was startled to find I was outside the Fat Lady's portrait.

"What is up with you mate? You've been like the walking dead since dinner. Don't tell me you're still pissed about that pudding thing? Come on, you have to admit that was funny, I thought Peter was going to piss his pants he was laughing so much!" I stared into space again, letting Sirius drone on.

I muttered a goodbye to Remus, Peter and Sirius, not missing the concerned look Remus shot me. Walking to my new head common room, I felt the butterflies in my stomach take over my head. To be honest I couldn't figure out why I was so nervous. Lily was a quiet, but lovely person, I should be thankful to share housing with her. But a part of me was still dreading it. I was in love with her, I had been for a long time, even if had only realised it a dinner, and I couldn't imagine living with her and not being with her. She made it clear before the end of sixth year that she didn't feel for me in that way, yet today at dinner when we locked eyes I felt………..something. It was something I had no words to describe, but it filled me completely and I was defenceless against it.

Reaching my new living quarters I inhaled deeply. Gathering all the Gryffindor courage I had in me, I opened the portrait and came to face to face with the one that tortured my thoughts. She looked at me with such a fearful face that it made me cringe, but I still couldn't look away.

"Hello James"

She said it so quietly for a second I thought I must have imagined it. I couldn't think of one thing to say back. She nervously looked around the room, and hesitated before turning to leave. If I knew one thing in that moment, it was that if I let her go, I would never get her back.

Striding across the maroon carpet I pulled her towards me and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her stiffen under my touch, and then respond to the kiss. Hesitantly I coxed her mouth open with mine. The world was spinning; all I could feel was air, lust and love. She tasted like Christmas, like cinnamon mixed with butterscotch. All rational thought left my brain and the only thing I could comprehend was the feel of her skin under my fingers, and the love that was slowly, painfully burning my heart. I had never felt so complete in my life.

And then it was over, abruptly. She pulled back quickly, a look of shock and sadness clouded her eyes and she stood frozen. Slowly she backed away from me, until she reached the stairs. She ran up them like the wind. I felt my heart blacken, my soul shattered, I stood in our common room while she slammed the door to her private room at the top of the tower.

The worst thing was I could still hear her sobs.


	5. Chapter Five Ignorance

Would you like to know your destiny? Or would you rather stay in the dark? The future is a tricky thing, and again it is based on the choices we make. The human race isn't perfect at making decisions, and I always wonder if these people who lead our countries really think about the consequences of the choices they make, and who's future they are really changing? A young man never to see his family again after a war. Or the innocent women who is caught in the crossfire. When it comes down to it we need to think about the decisions we all make, and how they affect another's life. I suppose if you knew what was to come then you could prepare for it, but some things can never truly be prepared for. I think its better being in the dark. That way you don't have to worry about life. You can just live it. Its like they say, **Ignorance** is bliss

It was beautiful. The room was decorated in gold and maroon, a tribute to the two Gryffindor heads. Sitting on one the comfy sofas, I took a minute to think about had all began when I received my letter, asking me to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As soon as I touched the letter a series of images, events flashed through my head. Most of them were of destruction, I could feel the terror hitting the world and the innocent people through my vision. But the final image, and the feeling that came with it would always remain in my mind, it was what drove me to take my place at Hogwarts and accept what taking it would mean. A pale man, dressed in a dark cloak. He looked as though he once may have been handsome, but the evil that had overcome his body, his features had altered his looks so that he was nothing more than a beast. He was pointing a wand at me, and then there was a flash of green. After this particular image, I seen him fall as if wounded, and I felt the peace that would over come the world when it happened. Even at the young age of eleven I knew that this was something I had to do, something I had to accept. The feel of relief and peace that came with this mans downfall was precious, and it was something only I could do. I now know that man is Voldemort, and this is the man that must kill me so that others may live.I had always had my visions, and always kept them to myself. Since I was a little girl. They would only work if I touched an object or a person that would play a part in the future I was about to see. I remember the first one I ever had. I was four years old, my father had just built a tree swing in our back garden. I touched the wooden seat, and an image of myself falling backwards off the swing flashed before my eyes. I refused to get on, until my mother convinced me I was just being silly. I still have the scar on the back of my head from were I had to get I heard the portrait door open, and jumped up, to then freeze and meet the eyes of James Potter for the second time that night. He was beautiful, I decided. His eyes flashed and I felt that spark ignite in me once more. He stood there looking at me for what felt like hours, I felt myself begin to shake under his gaze. I needed to get out of there, but I couldn't. I had to break the silence." Hello James"He looked shocked that I had spoke at all. Deciding this was a bad idea, I turned to leave and wallow in my room. All at once I was spun round and before I could even think James Potter was kissing me. I stiffened at first, but then that spark inside me exploded and I couldn't think , couldn't hold back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his mouth against my own, and then it began to flash behind my closed eyes. James chasing me in the rain. James telling me he loved me. The both of us fighting men in cloaks and masks, side by side, I could feel my fear, my fear for him. Then pain, and an image of myself holding a small boy, his green eyes the exact mirror of mine. The shout of a man ' run lily , its him', a babies cry, and then a flash of green , and again peace.I pulled back in horror of what I had just seen. Slowly walking backwards from James, I turned and sprinted up the stairs to my , not him, anyone but James. I couldn't take in what I had just seen. More than ever I was determined to stay away from him, not just to protect him from hurt and more, but from his death that being with me would obviously lead to.A flash of the young boy crossed my eyes again, this time merely a memory, and I could remember how happy I felt to hold him. Dropping to the floor, I sobbed until I could no longer see. With no strength to walk to my bed, I lay on the floor and sheltered my head with my arms. Although I knew that I couldn't have what my vision showed me, a part of me wanted it so much. I could still remember the feelings in my vision had gave me. Completeness , love and comfort. I wanted so much to be loved, to love James, to have the child, to love him. Now that I knew what I could have had, it made it a lot harder to give it up. But I had to. The images continued to flash before my eyes, tormenting me, until I sobbed myself to sleep. All I dreamt of was James.


	6. Chapter Six Fair

Life isn't fair.

It had been a week since the kiss. I thought it would be harder to avoid James, but it wasn't. He was avoiding me. I could feel him staring at me though, in classes, at dinner, but whenever I looked in his direction, or nearly met his gaze, he would turn away quickly and distract himself with something else. It hurt a bit. Although I knew it was for the best, a part of me wanted him to have fought for me, to try and convince me to love him. I knew it was wrong, but the problem was I was falling for him. One kiss and I was done. He was all I thought about, well him and the image of my could be child that haunted me at night.

The thing is, I never wanted to fall in love. It was never something I longed for; I was fine being just me. Now lost emotions where flying through me, I couldn't remember ever feeling this many things at once. Worry, regret, lust and love. Worry that I can't stop these feelings and that in some way that will still put James in danger. I regret the kiss shared with James. Not only did it give him false hope, it also opened my eyes to all of this. Lust was something I had never experienced, but now every night before I dreamed of the green eyed baby, I would have a rather … colourful dream of myself and James. Things I had never thought of doing where creeping into my dreams, and I would even find myself falling into a daze in class, remembering the previous nights dream. Love. The love I felt for James, a love that was all consuming, slowly breaking away bits of the wall I built around my heart.

Walking down the charms corridor I went over my thoughts again and again. And then I felt him. I looked up to see him leaning casually against the wall looking straight at me, darkness clouding his eyes. As I got closer he pushed off the wall and straightened up block my path. I stopped in front of him, looking to the floor to hide my lust filled and adoring eyes. And before I could even think I was in his arms and kissing him like the world was falling down around us. His tongue reached out to taste me and I quickly granted him access to my mouth. I could feel every inch of him, and it wasn't enough. I felt my back press against the wall, and then I was in the air, legs around his waist creating a maddening friction. My hands ran through his hair, and a moan growled in his throat.

We broke apart to breath, and that break gave me a chance to see what I had done. I pushed off the wall and him, looking to the floor again.

"Lily" I heard him whisper against my forehead and I felt a tear run down my cheek.

"James, I'm so sorry, I just can't. This is too dangerous for you and me, just let me go". I made to walk round him, but once more I was roughly pushed against the wall.

"No!" He shouted, his face screwed up in agony. "You can't do that. I won't let you run away again. You feel something, I know you do. Why won't you give this a chance Lily? Iv never felt this strongly for anyone in my whole life, and I don't know why I do , but I do know that I cant stop thinking about you, that I dream about you every night, and that when I kiss you , well I might as well die because that's the happiest I will ever feel. Its like I'm on fire, and I know you must feel something! Stop running".

Hearing him declare his love for me was all it took to open the gates I had kept closed for years. I felt a million emotions at once, and falling to the ground I sobbed. For the first time I felt that my life was unfair. I Didn't want to know my future, it wasn't fair that I have to live knowing what I'm suppose to do in this life. I didn't want it. I didn't want to shut everyone out. I wanted to have friends, to have ambitions, I wanted to be loved and love in return. I couldn't take it anymore and for the first time I just let it all pour out of me.

James didn't ask questions. He just picked me up and carried me to our common room, lying down on the couch with me still in my arms. The sobs still wracked my body and I felt him spoon me from behind, stroking my hair in a comforting gesture.

I knew it was time for explanations, like I also knew that nothing was ever going to be the same.

Author Note!!! Sorry for not being regular with the updates. I'm sooooooooooooo busy the now, uni n stuff. Thank you for everyone who is reading this story or keeping up with it. Please r&r though, there is a complete lack of reviews and not a lack of readers!!! Thanks!


End file.
